A Fellowship Dinner at HopeHaven
This Week, I Gave a Talk for the Eastlake Young Adults here at HopeHaven.
Let’s Define Fellowship
The Bible puts a lot of emphasis on fellowship. This is more than hanging out, there’s real connection going on here. There’s a Greek word, koinónia, that we translate into fellowship. It means:
a) partnership, help, participation
b) sharing in, communion
c) spiritual fellowship
This kind of connection is more than being acquaintances or being familiar. This is about being known. This is about a measure of intimacy with one another that includes our inner spiritual person. The goes beyond minds meeting, to our emotions being recognized and honored, to our spirits being one, and even a participation in our will. Yes, we are all individuals, even married couples are two individuals, but there is a one-ness that is created in koinónia that somehow reflects the Trinity.
Rate Yourself: How Connected Are You? 1 2 3 4 5
From One, Many; From Many, One
This is the gospel in microcosm. From one, came many. And now, as many, the goal is to become one. From God came Adam, and God saw that this was incomplete. And so God caused Eve to come from Adam. Now we have a “many”. And this many was given to each other so that they would form a “one” in marital love. Of course, not long after, sin entered and broke this oneness between Adam and Eve, and also between humanity and God. And in a mysterious way, God intends today’s many to become one, and that this one Bride would join with God’s Bridegroom and one-ness will be complete. All our relationships, all our connections reflect this dynamic of many and one. There’s something mysterious and lovely at work here.
And this is what we are doing tonight. There’s something meaningful about gathering around a table and eating and drinking together. This is a sharing of the stuff of life. Each of us has contributed something. Many of us brought the meal. All of us bring our presence to this gathering. And together we celebrate life and food. We celebrate the goodness of God. Around this table we become more one. Over this meal our unity expresses something about who God is and what he is about. Let’s not underestimate eating together. This too is mysterious and meaningful.
Rate the Quality of Your Relationships 1 2 3 4 5
To Follow Jesus Is to Live in Community
Currently we are experiencing a kind of tribalism. People have banded together based on mutual hate, and what they are against. Our Jesus community is absolutely different. It is based on mutual love, it’s shaped by what we are for, and a celebration of our individuality and our unity.
I used to be a “one friend” kind of person. I had a best friend and I leaned into that. There were other friends, but my focus was on that one. This was hard for both of us. Jesus is a “many friends” kind of person. He called a dozen disciples, yet there were many more. He actively trained 72, and there was “the five hundred”, which in my mind isn’t probably literal, but more along the lines of “the many others who were part of the community”, and was likely often more than five hundred people. I’m not talking about being introverted or extroverted. I’m talking about a brokenness I had in not being willing to risk to create many healthy relationships.
Community was the classroom, Jesus was the teacher, sacrificial service was the curriculum. The graduates were transformed. They were a whole people, a new kind of humanity that was both diverse and unified.
More Questions to Consider
What role does chemistry play in community? Is chemistry enough to create and maintain community?
How big of a role does technology play in community? 1 to 5 it… How far can technology take us?
Describe community
What will it take to create community like this?
There Are Obstacles
It is scary to create a true community. Most of us dabble in community. Most settle for a pseudo-community. We go to church. We come to group. Yet we hold back the core of who we are. We allow the surface to be known. And we can tend to think that we’re getting somewhere if we allow people to see that we aren’t quite perfect. But most of us don’t allow ourselves to be known. Our subconsciousness is repeating, “If they only knew _______ , then they would reject me.” Over and over we tell ourselves, “I am not _______ enough. Therefore, I’m not worthy of love and belonging.” Community promises intimacy, but it requires vulnerability. Many are unwilling to pay this price.
Individualism: We often hold out, just in case something better comes along. However, true community requires commitment. To live under the authority of Jesus’ teaching and his way of life, is to live in community. To live in community is to be committed to be present and to participate.
Autonomy: We give up doing whatever we want when we lovingly yield our lives to Jesus. In the same way, we allow ourselves to be identified as belonging to the community of believers.
Idealism: Sometimes we like the idea of community better than the gritty reality that is community. We can demand that the community be perfect before we participate. Community is often messy.
Fear: There is a longing to be known and somehow this is terrifying. Being known means facing those voices that say we are not enough. All of us are scared at some level. All of us fear rejection. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or if you’re an extrovert, all of us are being asked to humbly expose who we really are.
Hurt: Many of us have been hurt by our circle before. It may have been back in Middle School when those kids didn’t want you at their lunch table. It may have been a church circle that was less than welcoming. It will take courage to allow yourself to enter into community. It is possible to be hurt. However, let our community be a place where when this happens, we all are committed to creating healing.
With Which of These Obstacles Do You Identify Most?
There Is a Place for Confession in Community
Healthy communities have trust. It’s safe to be vulnerable. It’s safe to be imperfect. It’s understood that sin is a part of us that we are figuring out how to eliminate. Healthy communities have accountability. We help each other by being aware of one another, of seeing each other, and of accepting one another. At the same time, we help each other recognize what is out of bounds and when we are out of bounds.
We have lost the art of confession. Sharing specifically how we have fallen short is powerful, and it helps reshape us into our true selves. Confessing in our heads has way less power. Saying it out loud with your people can be transformative. We are going to end our meal with communion. This can be our moment for being real with one another. But don’t worry, this isn’t about heaping shame on one another. We confess our sins, so that we may be healed (James 5:16).
For you, you might confess what is in the way between you and greater community. It might be about the way you spend your money. It might be how you judge others. It can be any way that you are out of bounds.
When we confess our sins, God is faithful. He forgives us and purifies us. You are absolved of your sin. You’re free from it’s power. You’re free from death and have access to full, abundant, and eternal life in Christ Jesus!