In honor of Valentine's day, I will post a short thought on love each day this week. Your thoughts are welcome too, so join the conversation and add a comment. Enjoy!
Image courtesy Shutterstock
Friday: Love Is a Person
Love is a person and we are to become like him.
God is Love. God, the eternal, the always-was, the all-powerful, the all-knowing, is love. This definition has significant implications. I mean, imagine if God was something else—anything else, really. What would the universe be like if God were say, power, or fear, or hate? Boy would things be different. I am so glad that the great I Am is love.
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Jesus is God with skin on. What a concept. That whole passage in Philippians about how God, in humility, out of love and generosity towards us, limited himself by becoming human. Again, this is a crazy concept. What other god is humble like that? It means he knows us, understands us, and still loves us.
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And this love-God is in us and on us. We are invaded by a holy presence that is love. We wear him like clothes—completely covered and honored and safe from any shame. This love that occupies me and blankets me—it changes my identity, and it enables me to love and be loving.
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It's somehow both fitting and crazy that this God says, "I am love. I am human. I am in you and on you. Now, represent me—be love to everyone everywhere."
I'll do my best…
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Thursday: She Points Me to Jesus
I love my wife. She's my best friend. Of all the people on the earth, she knows me most. We're close. We live together. We share a room even. We talk every day—and unlike most couples, we get to work together, we even get to travel the world together. We do life side-by-side.
She fulfills the longing I have to be known. She understands what I mean, even if what I say doesn't quite make sense. Often times, she knows what I'm thinking, and sometimes we can communicate whole paragraphs with just a look. On occasion, she'll finish my sentences.
Let me tell you, it is so good to be known like this. It's what I'm made for, and it's what I long for—to know, and to be known and accepted.
Despite how close we are, and even though we spend a lot of time together, there is still a separation between us. Even when we embrace, there is an incredible divide. As much as I know her, and she me—she cannot perceive my thoughts. I cannot feel what she feels. She doesn't live in my skin, and cannot experience what I experience. I try as best I can to understand her and help explain me, but we are literally a worldview apart. We are separate beings, and we are so limited by our humanity that we can never fully understand one another.
Yet she is the best representation of Jesus I'll ever have. Her love, her acceptance, and her commitment to me point me towards my creator.
See, he's the one who does live in my skin—I am invaded by a Holy Presence who knows my every thought. I am surrounded by a righteousness that grants me access to my Father. And even though he knows me knows me, he still accepts me. I don't think I could ever understand this without Kay Charlotte knowing me, understanding me and accepting me. I am so grateful.
Happy Valentine's Day, my love!
Wednesday: The Little Mermaid Let Me Down
I admit, I'm a sucker for Disney Cartoons. I loved it when my kids were young enough to want to watch them. Of course, they wanted to watch them over and over again… I don't know how many times I've seen The Little Mermaid. Not that I'm complaining—I've always had a crush on Ariel. ;)
But the whole Disney-fication of love and romance is so unrealistic. It seems to me they're selling the myth that there's just one perfect prince/ss out there—and that if you'll just overcome all those odds stacked against you, your true love will enable you to live happily ever after. If we actually buy into this, then we can find ourselves trapped by the idea that we are with the wrong one. And if we're with the wrong one, then it's justified to leave the one we're with… Untold damage and heartbreak have resulted from the concepts idealized in these cartoons.
But then I read this:
"When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NLT)
As I've learned to love, I've had to grow up. I've recognized that although there are literally thousands of people that would be a great match for me, I have chosen Kay Charlotte for life—even when it gets hard. I had to put aside those childish thoughts of a pretend happily ever after, and I've had to grow into the kind of love that is sometimes messy, sometimes a lot of work, and sometimes not exactly what I want to do.
Tonight, happily ever after is doing the dishes before going to bed, so the kitchen is clean for her in the morning. Tonight it means somehow focussing my attention on what she's saying, even though the television is on behind her.
The truth is, Kay Charlotte is the right one because I chose her and she chose me. And yes, our real happily ever after has its challenges sometimes, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone—not even that mermaid.
Tuesday: In Love and In Awe
Sometimes I forget that my wife is amazing. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. There she is right in front of me, and I fail to recognize how awesome she truly is. That's a real bummer. I mean, this is the woman who is my best friend. This is the woman who said yes, to my marriage proposal. She is the one who has laughed with me, cried with me, and stood with me through thick and through thin. And sometimes I forget that she is incredible. I need to remember to be in awe of her.
And it's not just her. I'm starting to believe that all my relationships need a mutual healthy awe at their center. I remember going to some sort of marriage seminar (or maybe it was a video on VHS—it was that long ago). I don't remember who it was that said it, but this idea has stuck with me:
Being in her presence, is like being in the presence of a Stradivarius.
Imagine holding a multi-million dollar, hand-crafted, three-hundred-year-old violin. Feel the workmanship, see how fragile and finely tuned it is. Imagine the care you would take—imagine how focussed you would be on it. Imagine the awe you would be in holding a piece of history. I know I'd suck my breath in and hold it.
I find that when I treat anyone with the kind of awe I would treat a Stradivarius, that it's so much easier to love them and to give them favor. It makes them easier to live with, and easier to forgive when they don't clean up their dishes. When I recognize true value in others, my relationships are so much richer.
This can be easier with friends than family though, right? I mean with family, their selfishness is front and center. But if it's true that they are flawed, it's equally true that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. They are in the image of God, and becoming a clearer reflection of Christ. When I keep that in mind, I am in awe.
Kay Charlotte is awesome even when I'm unaware. Her gifts, her strengths are actually the pure, shiny, fingermarks of God himself. And when I focus on the shiny, I can see she's a marvel—and I'm grateful that she's with me.
Monday: I Need to Keep Becoming
"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." Philippians 1:6 (MSG)
I so appreciate the idea that life is a journey of becoming. It gives me peace to know that I am on my way, because it is clear to me that I have not yet arrived. I love that this becoming is accomplished by God himself.
Yet, there have been times, long seasons even, where I haven't exactly cooperated with him in my becoming. It's in those times that I didn't really like me—which made it hard for the people around me to like me either. I was stagnant, stuck and boring. Hope and faith faltered, and my relationships suffered.
I have come to the conclusion that in order for me to be loving, to be loved, to be in love, is to keep becoming. If I stop moving towards who I am supposed to be, it's a lot harder for those around me—and perhaps especially for those closest to me—to cheer me on towards the best me.
It turns out, that when I grow, my marriage grows. When I become who I'm meant to be, my relationships with my kids flourish. When I grow, I have greater capacity to create new and freshen old relationships.
So, if you want to celebrate love this week, then grow into the person you're intended to be.
Stay tuned for more: I'll post Tuesday's Thought before midnight.