I’ve been under a stay at home order for weeks. (Or is it months?!) And I Don’t Know What’s Next…
Photo Cred: Kent Pilcher via Unsplash
I’ve settled into a routine, but it’s still not normal.
I’m getting up too early. I’m having my coffee and a Clif bar. I’m reading the Bible and praying with Kay Charlotte. I’m “going” to work and doing my thing… so there’s a new routine. But I’m getting a little stir crazy with all this social distancing. I’m starting to wonder, When are we gonnu be through this? And that gets me to asking, “What’s it gonnu be like when we do?” I can’t help but look at the horizon…
And I have near zero visibility.
Which increases my anxiety. Which makes me say “Hey Anxiety, take a number and get in line behind all my other fears and insecurities!”
I assume things won’t be the same. Maybe we’ll be wearing masks everywhere. (Which I am not excited about… my glasses fog up with every breath. Sheesh. Okay, I’m done whining— for now). Maybe our favorite pizza place Pizzo’s will close! What I want is to just go back to when I could meet a friend for coffee and we wouldn’t have to be afraid.
I’m not sure that I’m rated for this. That “rated” is pilot-talk for being certified for a type of aircraft. I’m totally certified for my old life. I felt like I knew what I was doing. I felt like I could do loop-de-loops, and even skywrite. But that’s when everything was visible and familiar. What’s next might require me to rely on instruments only. Navigation will have to be totally different. I’m going to have to rely on a new guidance system.
Okay, enough with the flight analogy. What I’m talking about is this: I’m fearful because I don’t know what it’s going to be like when we come out of this. We may be dealing with COVID for months or even a year or even two! New outbreaks might pop up. More stay-at-home might be required. How will I do my work?
As I look at all this uncertainty, I realize I need to lean further into God. His specific guidance for each step forward will be necessary. Part of me is scared that I’ll mishear or misunderstand or even do something prideful and try to navigate on my own. But part of me is excited. Isn’t this what I truly want, to hear God’s instructions, and then obey them?
Lord, show us the way.